Monday, 4 August 2014

Blog Challenge Day 8: H is for Husband

A few days ago Someone came up to me and announced that H will, of course, be for Husband. No questions or polite requests. Just a statement. They got involved in the alphabet posts and wanted to be finally a part of it. So be it - here is H for Husband, who is doing the dishes right now and who has been sharing faithfully all my posts. There is more though what make him so special. He is my life, a part of me which I wouldn't be able to function about. But if there is something about husband there must be something about wife. so here you go H is actually for (Happy)Marriage.
When people talk to me about marriage and find out that I've been married for a little bit over two years, they say I know nothing about marriage yet and we would see what I would say in a few years. Yes, I would love to sit down with them that time and see how much the things will have changed.
But for the moment, yes, my marriage is only two years old but it's two years older than those who say they don't want to get married and has no experience of marriage whatsoever.
I've been privileged to observe happily married couples married for years - my parents, my pastor, older friends and I've been also privileged to be in the environment where marriage is cherished and valued and I'm thankful for all that, because it showed me what marriage is and what it isn't. It's a lifelong commitment, a decision to walk together through all stages of life, giving up your selfish self, living for someone else, taking responsibility and it's also lots of fun. Moments you make the decisions together, moments of all your firsts together - first home, first trip, first car, first time apart, first joy and first sickness.
And marriage isn't only a document, an easier way to take a loan or pay the taxes, it isn't a contract, it isn't only a routine life.
Tyler Ward, entrepreneur, writer, speaker and a blogger, published recently a book "Marriage Rebranded: Modern Misconceptions & the Unnatural Art of Loving Another Person." and I agree with him that the perception of marriage in the society is wrong. When you look at wedding cards, invitations and gifts it's mostly about loosing something: your freedom, your good old times, your identity, your independence while in reality it's all about gaining something. You loose little parts of the things mentioned above but overall you gain much more and you gain the things which actually make you a better person.
I love attending weddings of my friends and family members and learning that they've made that decision - to stand together for better and for worse. There is something special in that moment when you make that promise. And it's not a change for worse. It doesn't mean that when you stand in the church or in the council and make the vow you buried yourself alive and everything was great before the ceremony and now suddenly everything will become mundane, boring and all arguments will begin. No, this is the moment when the journey begins and I thank my husband that we're on this journey together. It would be boring without you.

Me and my husband at the English seaside, near Chichester

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